Baseball Post-Season Begins
Here is Stave It Off's list of playoff teams, in the order in which I would most like them to win the championship. For God to make me happy, he needs to eliminate the teams from the bottom up. For God to make me angry and vengeful, he should eliminate them from the top down. But be careful God, you won't like me when I'm angry. >:-(
1. The Chicago Cubs (No one should suffer this long. It's been almost 100 years since the Cubs could celebrate. Besides, I still like former Mariners manager, and current Cubbies manager Lou Piniella. Plus it would make Mark Grace happy.)
2. The Arizona Diamondbacks (Eric Byrnes is the coolest guy in baseball, and I think they finally celebrate MLK day there now. And a D'Backs win would also make Mark Grace happy.)
3. The Philadelphia Phillies (Stupid team name, but longtime Mariner star pitcher and class act Jaime Moyer is now a Phillie. He returned to his childhood city and is getting one last shot at a ring. He's 44 years old and barely tops that on the radar gun, but still manages to make guys half his age look foolish with the change up.)
4. The Cleveland Indians (Low payroll teams always rock, and this team tied for the best record in the league with a payroll about half of Boston's and a third of NY's.)
5. The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (Or Los Angelos de Los Angelos de Anaheim... This is clearly the stupidest name in all of sports, except maybe the Anaheim Mighty Ducks. But setting stupid marketing departments aside, Vladamir Guerrero is amazing to watch, plus good team speed and great managerial tactics make this team fun to watch.)
6. The Colorado Rockies (Their late season surge reminds everyone of the '95 Mariners, but Colorado sucks, so I'm tepid at best about this team.)
7. The Boston Redsox (Please just stay in your own city people. Boston is supposed to be a nice town. Please stop swarming Pioneer Square everytime the Sox come to town.)
8. The NY Wankees (The single most despised team in the history of sportsdom. More despised than the infamous Blacksox; more hated than the LA Kings, who also have a dumb name and who lured Gretsky away from the Edmonton Oilers. I will never enjoy watching any team lose as much as the Wankees. I have been filled with schadenfreudic glee each of the last 6 years as I watched the Yanks get bounced from the postseason. If God is good, he will surely allow me to continue in this sublime pleasure.)
Labels: Sports
9 Comments:
Baseball gods update:
Cubbies are losing (God is a hater.)
But Diamondbacks are winning (So God also gives.)
Phillies are getting crushed by the Rockies, but Moyer may still pitch well in Game 3.
Cleveland is up 2 games to 0 against the Yankees! God truly loves me. Although, once the Yankees lose, it'll be hard to continue watching since I'll already have my biggest present.
I kind of like Boston even though they are nearly as bad as the Yanks. Maybe like a bad sequel, I feel compelled to watch, I wanna see the younger brother beat up their big bully NY brother again (assuming Cleveland can't close them out).
As for NL, I do feel bad for Lou and the Cubbies. Zona and the Rockies are just too hot right now, although I don't think either will do much against the AL big thumpers...
as a bostonian albeit from a distance...we put cream in the chowda...ny doesn't...and we're not so nice!
c
The Great Devil has been vanquished once again! YES!!!!!!
Screw Chris Hitchens... God is Great!!!
He gave me an early birthday present. Yanks go down in 4 games. The Tribe (who rock) go on to face Boston. The sox should be scared.
Oh, and crap. I was totally wrong about the chowda.
Um, I love baseball, but really just piping up to say "Los Angeles" in Spanish is "Los Angeles". Sorry to be pedantic, I fear it's the Latin, or maybe, just MAYBE, it's me!
I know I should be rooting for Cleveland, the small market, low budget, youngster upstart team, but for some reason I still want crazy Manny, big Papi, that republican Yakker Schilling, baby face Papelbon, the Greek God of Walks and the rest of the dirty Dogz to pull this out. Go Sox!
At least the Boston/Cleveland series gives me something to chew on... so far, it's been boring sweep after boring sweep.
Nighty, Night Cleveland, enjoy the off season...
-A
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