Pirate Lore

So I was looking at some Installation Notes that come included with just about every game that one might download these days from the Internets. Typically, these notes say something like: "Thanks for keeping the scene real people. A big shout out to my hackerz at Procyon! No matter what the corporate douches do, we'll always be one step ahead. Power to the people!" Since I love reading messages like that, I make sure always to read the release notes. The last one I downloaded, however, had a slightly different message built in. I submit it, unedited, to the Stave It Off audience for educational purposes only.

hi fags!
Ok lemme guess, already done playing Barnyard? Who isn't,what a pile of shit! But here is the game you all been waiting for!! (not)
by Ok, fucking awesome game, it's a so called First-Person Action RPG!No, not an 'RPG' like the ones who they use at war, those are cool.'RPG' games are for people with NO LIFE AT ALL. Like WOW, that'ssome RPG for lowlife nerds who are spending days (orly, yrly!) onmaking a character grow in its world. So this is basicly the sameshit, but then offline, yay!
This game features 'quests' where nerds can discover new thingswhich also excist in real life, such as a vagina, orgasms, andother lowlifes inside the game.
Nerd behind the computer says:'OMG WTF!!!)@)! is a VAGINA? ORGASM? LOWLIFES?'
Little lesson for our friendly nerd behind the computer:Ok here it is, you ARE a lowlife, DONT have a vagina, and yoursort of people's word for an ORASM is 'monsterkill'. Yes, that'sright, a monsterkill will be the most close-to-real-sexual-orgasm-experiencethe avarage game nerd will ever get.
So back to the game, you'll develop a character in single player, and upgrade skills, like 'fighting' skills! HOWEVER! PLEASE DO NOT TRY THESE FIGHTING SKILLS IN REAL LIFE SINCE POOR GAMER NERDS _WILL_ LOSE EVERY FIGHT THEY GET IN TO!
Ok when you totally 'pwned' the single player of this game, it'stime for a more sexual experience, ONLINE MODE. Now you canenjoy this game in an oral way using teamspeak while 'monsterkilling'one another. Example of what you will hear on teamspeak:
'OMFG OMFG LOSER!! N00B!!! YOU GOT PWNED!! CHEAT0R OMG !!@#! WOWMONSTERKILL WOWOWOW I'M SO LEET! WOW GUYS CHECK THIS OUT, I'M PISSINGWHITE SHIT HERE'
Few minuts later... the pro-gamer is crying behind his teamspeak
'OMG I GOT KILLED FFS FUCK NOOB GRRR DIE!!! FUCK CANT SEE SHITHERE FFS, OMFG ENTIRE SCREEN COVERED IN WHITE SHIT FFS FFS'
Ok, now you know what an orgasm looks like for normal people.Normal people most often get orgasms of fucking someone else of the different sex. However, gamer-nerds will never get such experience. You know what you are...
---------------------------------------------------------------------Don't wanna get your entire monitor covered in shit, or be calleda lowlife or gamenerd? Simple solution: stop playing games, and sure as hell DONT leech this game, it's dangerous. You'll never get laid (again) if you leech it.

+----------- - - - - ---+ ----- [ Always remember .:::::::: ] ----- +--- - - - - -----------+We are the result of your laws. We are the result of your democracy. We are the result of your corruption.