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Friday, June 09, 2006

Shining Beacon of Bummerism

From the BBC television series, The Singing Detective:

What do you believe in?


Come again?

Malthus… but mandatorially. Compulsory depopulation by infanticide, suicide, genocide or whatever other means suggest themselves… AIDS for example, that’ll do. Why should queers be so special?

I see.

I also believe in cigarettes, cholesterol, alcohol, carbon monoxide, masturbation, the Arts Council, nuclear weapons, the daily telegraph and not properly labeling fatal poisons. But most of all, above all else, I believe in the one thing that can come out of people’s mouths: vomit.

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At 6/10/2006 12:17:00 AM, Blogger Diane said...

While I didn't remember that bit from the series, it reminded me of another memorable quote from "Bull Durham":

Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.

At 6/10/2006 05:42:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I believe in miracles, since you came along, you sexy thing!


At 6/10/2006 09:02:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I believe for every drop of rain that falls
A flower grows
I believe that somewhere in the darkest night
A candle glows
I believe for everyone who goes astray, someone will come
To show the way
I believe, I believe

I believe above a storm the smallest prayer
Can still be heard
I believe that someone in the great somewhere
Hears every word

Everytime I hear a new born baby cry,
Or touch a leaf or see the sky
Then I know why, I believe

At 6/10/2006 06:14:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I believe people are full of shite unless they're alone. Once people have an audience the admission price alone is enough to corrupt the purest of souls.

At 6/11/2006 06:42:00 PM, Blogger Johnbai3030 said...

Who the hell is leaving all these posts! I believe anonomous posters are full of sh*t! Once people aren't held accountable for their comments, they can spout whatever they choose!!!

At 6/12/2006 12:49:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

We have to JOIN the damn blogger bog or be anonymous! This is Pam

At 6/12/2006 08:58:00 AM, Blogger Johnbai3030 said...

Sorry Pammy,
I was just echoing the silliness of the previous post with that "full of sh*t" line. I don't ask anyone to register with "the bog", just finish off your posts with something like this:


At 6/12/2006 08:59:00 AM, Blogger Johnbai3030 said...

Really, I just want to know who called me "sexy thing" and then dropped a link to a Maxwell Smart page. WTF?!

At 6/12/2006 09:00:00 AM, Blogger Johnbai3030 said...

Yeah, I know it's a lyric. Please don't all jump to tell me so.

At 6/12/2006 03:02:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That would be Pammy who sent you the sexy thing lyric, though I did consider others. smile And I see you removed that rather incredible comment this morning about why do I even bother to read a blog if I am too lazy to fill out the forms to join. WOW. I tried to respond but even the comment site refused admission. The reason I bother is because I love you and usually your blog is interesting, at least.

At 6/12/2006 10:46:00 PM, Blogger Happy Birthday! said...

Wow. Chilly in here.

I'm not anonymous.

At 6/13/2006 08:07:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Johnnyboy, let me add just one more comment here in public. I should have said your blog is interesting, at THE VERY least. It is entertaining, informative, filled with good art and music. It is one of the best bogs I read. ~pam

At 6/13/2006 02:40:00 PM, Blogger Ned said...

Blog or bog ... that is the question!

I believe it's time to go to bed now.

At 7/01/2006 11:10:00 AM, Blogger Yojimbo_5 said...

One more set of belief systems--from Clay Jenkinson, one of my (current) favorite writers. He's also a fellow at Lewis and Clark College.

I can believe that things are true and I can believe things that aren’t true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they’re true or not. I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and Marilyn Monroe and the Beatles and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen – I believe that people are perfectible, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkledy lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women. I believe that the future sucks and I believe that future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone’s ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state. I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste. I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we’ll all be wiped out by the common cold like the Martians in War of the Worlds. I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman. I believe that mankind’s destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it’s aerodynamically impossible for a bumblebee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there’s a cat in a box somewhere who’s alive and dead at the same time (although if they don’t ever open the box to feed it it’ll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself. I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn’t even know that I’m alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of casual chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck. I believe that anyone who says that sex is overrated just hasn’t done it properly. I believe that anyone claims to know what’s going on will lie about the little things too. I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman’s right to choose, a baby’s right to live, that while all human life is sacred there’s nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system. I believe life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you’re alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it.


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