Riddle Me This

For all you literate puzzlemasters, I submit a homespun crossword. Diane provided some creative assistance, so is ineligible for the fabulous cash prize I'm offering to the first finisher. The puzzle should open as an Excel spreadsheet when you click the link.

Tip one: There are two pages... look for tabs at the bottom of your application to switch pages from squares to clues.

Tip two: It's easier to work on if you print out the pages.