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Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Dirty Dirty Poetry

Inspired equally by Isaac Asimov's Lecherous Limericks and by Walter's recent haiku contest, I propose that y'all put your minds to penning a cheeky poem and submitting it here for consideration and general mockery. I happily submit this as a first effort (best read in a whiskey-fueled brogue.)

I knew at first look that she were a goner...
The lady determined to hold fast her honor.
She outlasted the rest
Stayed under her dress
'Til she spied a Scotsman and he fell upon her.

Please consider that we are a dignified and multi-gendered crowd. In the spirit of Asimov, profanity is unacceptable.

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At 6/22/2005 09:04:00 PM, Blogger diane said...

I don't recall that Walter's haiku invite was a "contest" as such; more a suggestion to create and submit. In any case, Soapy and I were the only ones to submit said haiku. Where were the rest of you?

Perhaps you think to know your audience better in appealing to their lecherous side. Let the submissions flow.

Question: can I submit a limerick that mocks you (reference your Pathetic Warning blog post) as long as I sign my name?

At 6/23/2005 06:01:00 PM, Blogger helioshamash said...

I once happened upon a sweet lass
Lazing about in th' fine green grass
Her hand, it went under
Carnal dignity rent asunder
Next thing y' know we were agasp

At 6/25/2005 02:10:00 PM, Blogger Johnbai3030 said...

Apparently it's an unspoken rule that all submissions must be written in some foreign accent.

At 6/26/2005 09:02:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's an old one:
There once was a young man from Kent
Whose prick in the middle was bent
To save himself trouble
He put it in double
And instead of coming he went.

At 6/28/2005 10:50:00 AM, Blogger diane said...

There once was a Scotsman from Clyde
Who took no great trouble to hide
He wore naught 'neath his skirt
But what graced him at birth
And the lassies all flocked to his side.

At 7/03/2005 04:30:00 PM, Blogger Kris said...

Just stumbled upon your site randomly and saw your limerick post. This one I wrote when I was 12 or so...

There once was an ugly brown mutt
The mutt had a very big butt
he sat on some glass
and cut his big ass
now the mutt has a cut on his butt.

At 7/11/2005 01:35:00 PM, Blogger Johnbai3030 said...

I really wish that last post was by Kris Morse... but alas, it's just a random Kris. Well, it was nice of him to contribute, but I could have made lots of fun of Kris Morse. This guy I just have to thank politely.


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